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Dear Dad,

I want to be more like you. You were a kind and loving father, and you cared so much for humanity, for equality and fairness.  

A driven, ambitious, and successful man, you continually searched for answers to problems, whether they were mechanical engineering problems or world disasters.  You took charge and resolved the issues at hand.

I never realized how unusual it was to have a Dad like you. You didn’t brag or flaunt your achievements.You took it for granted that what you did was “matter of fact”, what anyone would do when there was a problem to resolve for those less fortunate. 

Since Carole is the journalist of the family, she was given the assignment of writing your obituary.  I know it was hard for her. She did a fantastic job – no frills, just facts.  Your accomplishments took up TWO columns of the newspaper.  Surprised us all!

Before they closed your casket, I slipped my note (and a chocolate) into the little “secret drawer” compartment, along with the rest of the family’s notes and trinkets to you.  In my note, I asked you to please send me advice. Teach me.  Tell me how to endure, how to persevere.  But mostly, how to bring to fruition the projects I start, how to combine my analytical self with an “action” self.

Since you left this earth plane, you’ve been there for me whenever I have called to you.

You started leaving me messages soon after I returned home.  I would wake up in the morning after a previous night’s prayer to you, and find I had a new perspective, a new driving force within.  After a while of pushing myself along through each step, each phase, I began to notice that a seed had been planted within me.  It was the seed of ambition!   That was another key component I was missing.  It’s not just about enduring and persevering.  One has to have ambition too!  That’s so obvious to me now.  But it was a missing puzzle piece in my life.

Thanks, Dad, for finding that little piece of the puzzle and sending it to me.  My life has been changing.  I don’t desire to have the forceful drive that you had on this earth, but I’m discovering that I can fuel that drive within to whatever degree I want.  I can decide how much of that ambition and drive I want to use.  It isn’t a characteristic that I am lacking, just one that had to be discovered.

I now have lots of seeds to plant in my new garden, Dad.  Thanks for helping me plan it, water it, and weed it.  It’s fun having you around.  You seem to have lots of time for me now.  And I notice you are laughing, you are so light hearted, so relaxed now.  But I also know you are very busy building bridges!  And you are likely telling the “authorities” how they could be doing things more efficiently, and accomplish a lot more than they are currently.  My Dad, what guy! 

Hey Dad, by this coming spring I’ll have a bountiful harvest to share with you!

With BIG love, Connie

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